Word Stack or A Pile of Thoughts

The term "limnal time" is a bit misleading, because it actually is supposed to refer to time outside of time, which isn’t time at all.  Accordingly, it is in the dimension of timelessness that all that is divine exists; in the teachings of Eckenkar, it’s the astral plane; in Buddhism and Hinduism, it’s a realm of inner peace and enlightenment; for Christianity, it is peace of Christ which "transcends all understanding".  Believers are, from time to time, called to journey to this outer existence and return with new ideas, and a renewed sense of self.

It brings to mind Joseph Campbell’s Hero with a Thousand Faces.  The archetype hero, according to Campbell, is a social deviant, who takes on a journey away from the home, the familiar, and the comfortable, to resolve a conflict; often this conflict is seen as an articulation of a contradiction faced in the human experience.  Every hero has some sort of journey: Luke Skywalker, Frodo Baggins, Achilles, Lam-Ang, Sir Gawain, Kenshin Himura.

But why do I refer to these two similar, yet opposing concepts?  Both are journeys, and yet one is of peace while the other is of conflict.  I’m looking at my life, right now, on the day after my graduation from university, as the confluence of both.  On one hand, it feels like there are so many possibilities, that I can finally be satisfied and study what I would like to study, read the books I want to read, write the papers I want to write, go to the places I want to go.  I feel like the obligation of education has been fulfilled, and now the real learning can start. 

On the other hand, there is a sense of dread of what comes next, the sharper turns and deeper ravines ahead.  I would be lying if I said I wasn’t afraid of what comes next; as the All-American Rejects sing, "The future freaks me out."  In my imagination, there are adventures and quests, people and places.  But even as I want to see these things come through, hope is tempered by the sense that in my experience, imagination is a dangerous thing.  Icarus fell into the ocean. 

More than hope, the fundamental fear is the one that comes with the realization of self.  The more pronounced the Self becomes, the clearer the absence of the Other.  Doesn’t it suck to be human sometimes?  The more aware it is of its identity and place, the more alone it feels.  My track record for having a partner to dance with isn’t very good. 

So, even though empty pages are filled with possibilities, it’s a double-edged experience.

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