Archive for September, 2007

A Fixation

Friday, September 28th, 2007

Johann Sebastian Bach’s Jesus, of Man’s Desiring Cantata 147 is a piece I’ve been playing on the piano for years.  I don’t know why my brain simply won’t move on from this one.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=upxZeEkh8TY

Something about the way the notes flow into each other– pursuing a single continuous theme, without pause, without breath–attracts me to it.  Unlike a lot of music, this piece doesn’t incite so much of an image as simply a glowing feeling of satisfaction. 

For so long, I think, probably since high school, this piece has been playing in my head.  I didn’t even know what it was called until a couple of days ago when Helen Quach told me what it was when I played the first few notes on the piano.  How can a piece of music remain embedded for so long in a person’s head, without words, without any sort of cue?  Where did it come from?  Why can’t I get over it, so much so that every time I hear it or play it, it captures me?  Sheesh, it sounds like a romance.  But when you tend to spend most of your time in your head, the things you fall in love with are a bit more diverse than the usual.

Another piece that I love is Beethoven’s 6th Symphony, the Pastorale.  I think that the first time I heard this was from the original Disney’s "Fantasia", the part with the Greek mythology animation. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HZGb-Kjy0S0&mode=related&search=

Again, the flowing music is what I get fixated on.  But this is different from the Bach piece because it communicates definite images of the countryside: little flowing streams, hillocks and small forests, a watermill, clouds.  This symphony is just another reason among many other reasons that I’ve decided to go and see Germany for myself. 

What is there to do?

Thursday, September 27th, 2007

Just very frustrated with everything.  Funny how in a few hours, everything can go from exciting to terrible.

Black swans come to mind.  But who cares?  The beauty of an idea, loving knowledge for knowledge’s sake.  Creativity is key.  Integration is the treasure-trove, the adventure of finding something new, something exciting, something that gives us another way of looking at things. 

I previously wrote about feeling alive.  But what’s the point of that feeling?  You can feel great about something but feel hollow inside.  What’s the point of taking the time and the passion to craft an idea that you hope people will see as beautiful, but then no one sees its beauty because they won’t take the time to look at it. 

I’ll sleep on this, because there’s nothing left to do.

Fascination and the Feeling of Being Alive

Wednesday, September 26th, 2007

A friend of mine wrote about the feeling of being alive, of being exposed to the wonders of the natural world, to be so far away from all the baggage and hum-drum of the mundane and the routine. 

For myself, this feeling of being alive comes from two main sources.  The first is travel: the faces of strangers and the conversations exchanged in the cabin of a plane, the trees flying past the window, the blue of the ocean stretching away to the horizon, the smell of spices, unfamiliar languages, different architecture and the sense of living at the edge of possibility.  Leaping into a pool in the jungle, having a cup of coffee in a cafe in a strange city, slumping down on a bunk bed in the common room, after an exhausting search for the backpacker inn, trying to figure out how the Octopus card works, sitting on the wall of a monastery overlooking a valley… even just the memory of these experiences makes the spirit soar. 

The second source of life for me is the nerve-wracking challenge of formulating a new idea.  I feel guilty at times, because when the bug hits me, nothing else seems to matter except this idea, this probable ticket into the future.  I’ve told my friends that ideas are my life, that there’s only really one thing I’m good for, and that’s the pursuit of knowledge.  I live in my head (and slightly to one side), as Sir Ken Robinson would put it.  It’s a great puzzle that requires solving, its as if a hundred thousand little pieces are screaming at the same time, screaming to be organized and integrated into a concrete whole.  And every time a new connection is made, a new question and a new idea make themselves known, and if you keep following your questions, the meandering paths through the wilderness of knowledge can lead you to some very interesting places, places that you probably never knew existed or never thought about. 

Recently, the Theory of Value has me pulling my hair and annoying my friends with what–to them–amounts to, at best, esoteric ramblings, or at worst, the incomprehensible rantings of a person who has officially lost it.  Thank God for these people who can put up with me.  It’s lonely enough as it is; I’d be in a sore position if there was no one to pose questions to, to bounce ideas off of, to ask for feedback on a particular paragraph. 

So in the end, what is the life that would be best for me?  The road, both literally and figuratively. 

The Art of Listening and the Language of Music

Tuesday, September 25th, 2007

For one reason or the other, I found myself sneaking into the College of Performing Arts rehearsal hall to listen to Helen Quach’s lecture on conducting.  Though I was an illegal of sorts (the looks from a few of the scandalized music majors said as much), I nonetheless found my intrusion justified by the really cool ideas I had with me when I walked out.

She spoke of taking risks, of having the guts to try something new.  When Helen had just graduated with a degree in conducting, she sought a scholarship under the tutelage of the Russian conductor Nikolai Malko.  However, she faced a distinct obstacle: Malko had publicly declared that he would never teach conducting to a woman, saying that "they don’t have the temperament to be great conductors."  But the real reason Malko said this– according to Helen– wasn’t because he hated women, but because of a particular American woman who he had taught before and had turned his teachings into a new book about conducting.  Knowing this, Helen nonetheless took the chance and wrote Malko, explaining that she was willing to learn and that she had a good ear for music.  Malko, as well, took the chance with this young conductor and told her to show up at the music hall for her audition.  When Helen walked into the hall, Malko was sitting alone in the orchestra pit.  She strode down to the conductor’s stand and took her place. 
"What are you going to conduct?" Malko asked.
"Beethoven’s 6th symphony, first movement," Helen replied.
"Very well."
With that, Helen pulled a darning needle from her sleeve (she hadn’t yet bought an actual conductor’s stick) and Malko’s eyebrows rose.  Then she began conducting, her arms rising and falling with the syncopated tempo, then cuing the invisible string section, pointing to the flute and the oboe as their parts began then moving back to the strings…
At the end of the first movement, the music playing only in her imagination, she halted, almost as if pausing for the musicians to prepare for the second. 
"You get the scholarship," Malko said evenly, and walked out.  Helen went on to conduct the New York Philharmonic, the Taipei Symphony Orchestra, and many others. 

"Don’t ever let that opportunity pass you up," Helen said gravely, looking at the students in the hall.

Helen Quach also spoke of the importance of being able to listen.  "Listening," she said, "is love in action."  Just as people need to listen to each other, so too do the instruments in an orchestra.  She spoke of beautiful music only being possible when the different sections can listen to one another, when the orchestra communicates with the conductor. 

Music is a language itself.  What a composer does is paint an image or a series of images on the canvas that is the octave.  Helen spoke of moonlit night, played by the flutes, and the strings providing the waves on a seashore.  Then the cellos come in, telling a love story of a young girl.  Why is she sad?  The strings answer, and so on and so forth.

For myself, a student of communication, language and symbol, the impact of the linguistics of music struck me.  Each piece is like a book, making statements and posing questions.  As I write this, I’m listening to Beethoven’s Piano Sonata #8.  They talk about emo music these days, but here is something that goes straight to the heart of it.  It’s confusion, it’s rage, it’s the cathartic calm that comes over a person who has seen everything that could be and never will be. 

And to say it all without words, well, that’s amazing.  Because as much as I write, I know words are the clumsiest medium for communicating ideas.  I need only to look at the elegance of music to know how badly limited speaking and writing are.

Cosmo-Semiotics

Friday, September 21st, 2007

It’s interesting to think that everything around us is a symbol for something, a representation of meaning… in other words, our very environment is a language.  Perhaps this linguistic reality isn’t isolated to our surroundings, but to our own bodies.

Enter Cosmopolitan Magazine + Eve Ensler’s "The Good Body"= an idea about how we remove humanity from the human body.

Symbolism is stuff of the sublime, the unattainable Idea.  Language itself– our system for symbols– is not meaning in itself but rather a separate thing we use to represent something else.  Because of its unrealizable nature, symbolism is not what the substance of human beings.  Consciousness– not the word "consciousness, but rather the thing we are referring to– is a meaning that makes a human being what it is.  The consciousness itself creates symbols to interact with the world around it, and constructs a reality of symbolism to represent its own sense of what the world is.  In a nutshell, a hermeneutic theory as a framework for a Weltanschung (roughly translated, world-view).  But the world-view is not the human; it is merely the device by which the human perceives the world. 

Ms. Helen Quach is a very interesting old lady I had the opportunity of speaking to about her world-view over breakfast this morning (also talked about Tchaikovsky and conducting Mozart’s Carmina Burana and the merits of the French horn… yes, so totally awesome!), and she injected an interesting perspective that is articulated in her neo-spiritualist view of reality: that the body, although apart from the spirit (or what I referred to as ‘consciousness’), must be in harmony with the spirit, because it is the "vehicle" that the spirit uses to traverse across the physical plane.  It might sound a bit hokey, but after thinking about it, it made sense.  In light of tonight’s play "The Good Body", I saw what it meant.

Harmony between the sense of individuality contained within the spirit, and our sense of what our bodies are is part of living a sensible and unhindered existence.  Unfortunately for many women (probably men too, but the play focused on women…Ensler), they’ve disembodied themselves from their sense of individuality.  The women in the play– based on Ensler’s conversations with real women from all over the world (sound familiar? *cough that sounds like "vagina monologues"*)– did not own their bodies.  Instead, their bodies were turned into message boards for the society around them.  "LOOK LIKE THIS!" screams a magazine in the corner. "HIDE YOUR BREASTS!" yells an irate mother. "COVER YOUR FACE!" the burkha cries. 

A woman’s body is not her own: it is a symbol claimed by tribe, religion and commercial enterprise. 

And guys wonder why women hate their bodies so much ("How’s my butt look?" "Does this make me look fat?" "Do I look okay?" "You didn’t notice my hair?").

When the body of a woman becomes a billboard for others, it loses its harmony with the individuality of that woman.  Her identity is lost behind the mask that is her physical reality.  We call a woman "beautiful", "attractive", "sexxxaaaay"; we use her curvature as a metaphor.  What we’re doing is replacing the individual for an Idea: an idea that mainly comprises of pretty eyes, long hair, nice legs, nice breasts… in lieu of a name.  And then we teach her to accept who she is, and we make a fuss over the beautiful ones because they matter more than the ugly ones; we don’t stop to think why, because the reason isn’t a reason at all: because the pretty one is closer to our idea of what a woman should be. 

All that instead of giving value to woman because she is herself. Shame on a society that calls itself "civilized" but can’t get over turning a person everyday into an idea by imposing its symbolism on the individual, by ramming its own idea of perfection down the throats of otherwise already perfect individuals. Shame indeed.

Formalism, Chopin, Three Plucked Strings and the Evolution of Society

Tuesday, September 18th, 2007

The idea is very straightforward: that  art reflects as well as instigates the development of societal consciousness. 

My first example comes from a LitCritter session on Russian Formalism.  One of the things I found interesting was that the growth of literary criticism and construction towards the "science of literariness" came at the time a wave of social upheaval and technological advances were transforming Russian society at the earlier part of the last century.  Not only did it reflect upon the Revolution by the act of rejecting the socialist ideals of art being an expression of the new society, but it also reiterated the positivist philosophy that fueled industrialization.  In both ways, the discourse of formalism as well as its historical experience in Lenin’s Russia became a window into the idea that socialism had become ideological rather than rational.  This later became the stumbling block of socialist regimes that found themselves impractical in a world that placed more stock on material evidence of wealth rather than the fulfillment Gemainschaft. Such as it is, the art of the Russian Formalists revealed the reality of the Bolshevik revolution, and served as a precursor to the change that socialist nations would face in the 1990’s, as vestiges of ideology gave way to the practical need for development. 

My next example uses the differentiation of musical technique and style to highlight the differences between the consciousness of today’s society with that of the 19th century.  In listening to Chopin’s "Nocturne in E Minor", one gets a sense of beauty from the symmetrical abstractions emanating from the geometry of the sound.  The mathematician-philosopher Leibniz referred to this musical aesthetic as "the soul counting without realizing its counting".  There is a balance to it.  In stark contrast, the Israeli string instrument group Three Plucked Strings performs "Dark Red City", which is an exercise in discord, dissonance and chaos.  One also gets a sense of beauty from the piece, but it is a beauty that is meta-musical.  Rather than existing in strict linearity, the sound of the piece resonates with confusion. 

What sort of society could beget the mind of Frederic Chopin?  The 19th century was the beginning of the industrial revolution, where Western reason and science brought order to the world.  Society was structured, classified, stratified.  Reason and order where the ends of human endeavor.  The balance in the music of one such as Chopin reflects this.

"Dark Red City" speaks of a very different world.  The Israel of today is a world of conflict and discord.  Even beyond the outskirts of Jerusalem, however, the world we live in exists in a state of self-contradiction: poverty, queer theory, globalization.  There is a plurality of truths vying for predominance, none in agreement with the next.  The piece composed by the three young Israeli can easily resonate in the mind born into a post-modern society.

These examples speak of cultural symbols that reflected the semiotic landscape of their contemporary societies.  The interesting question– provided that the concept I stated at the beginning of this piece is considered evident– is to examine the current ecology of symbol and meaning and perhaps deduce how the realities of human society can change. 

Rekindling

Monday, September 17th, 2007

At a certain point, one’s passion begins to wane and fizzle out, mainly because of a lack of input, a lack of new fuel to keep it burning.  Then, all of a sudden, a window opens up and a hundred possibilities start leaping out from every direction.

Exactly my sentiment under the suggestion of Dr. Alan Grainger of Leeds University to look into the "embryonic study" of eco-semiotics: the tie-in between culture and nature. 

Naturally, the first thing I did was consult the Google.  And there they were: publication after publication from numerous theoreticians (mostly from northern Europe and Germany) on the topic.  I briefly scanned through their introductions…

…and I found myself interested.  Which I haven’t felt for awhile now.  Nothing is more exciting than finding a whole new field to explore.  Here goes…

Dirty Room Mate

Sunday, September 16th, 2007

"A bit of ale, please?" Razael motioned for the bar tender. Just another tavern, in another town, looking for another odd job to get by, he thought to himself.  Travis and  Agust approached, taking their seats.
"There’s still a few beds available in the hall.  Inn-keeper says theres only one other traveler staying tonight," Travis explained.  The wizard didn’t feel too comfortable about having share a room with anyone, much less a stranger.
"We’ll just have to make do."
"Mmmhmm," murmered Agust, who was busy working on a piece of bread.

Two years had passed since Razael had begun traveling with the wizard and the swordsman.  The half-elf had been traveling alone, making his way east, when he met the two on a ship.  Travis and Agust were apparently something of semi-professional free lance "gladiators" and mercenaries, and they made their way from one tournament to the next.  Razael, seeing an opportunity for regular income, had decided to join them.  Right now, however, the next tournament was only a few days away, and they were scraping the bottom of their money pouches.  Hence the  rather rude accommodations.

*             *               *

The room was large, with double deck beds.  On one end, there was a balcony, which overlooked a busy street.  The moon had just risen, and the night market below was in full swing.  The glow of fires and the myriad of smells and sounds floated up to where the half-elf sat.
"You know what time our room mate is getting in?" Agust asked.
"Nope," came the half-elf’s curt reply. "He’s probably out there on the street, looking for trinkets or something."
"Well, its not like he won’t have a choice of where to sleep."

*             *              *

Razael lay awake on his bed, listening to the sounds from the street.  His knife was tucked into the roll next to his head, his walking stick and pack leaning against the wall nearby.  He couldn’t sleep.  Then he heard the steps coming up the hall from outside the door.  Their room mate, he thought vaguely, and he turned to watch the door.  It opened slightly, and a shadow entered the room.  It was a light figure, and in the shadows, the half-elf realized it was a young woman.  She wore traveler’s clothes, and a pack hung from her hand.  She seemed tired.  Razael kept quiet, watching as she inspected the occupied beds.  The young woman snorted at the sight of Agust, who was sprawled across his bed, snoring loudly.  She inspected Travis as well.  The wizard was tucked in a ball, the blanket covering his head.  Quietly, she made her way to the far end, pausing briefly to look at Razael, not noticing he was awake.  She put her pack down, and slumped down on the bed, not even bothering to change.  In a few minutes, Razael heard soft snores coming from her bunk.  He chuckled inwardly and fell asleep. 

The Highway Man

Sunday, September 16th, 2007

One of my favorite English ballads.  Enjoy!

The Highwayman
by Alfred Noyes

                                        PART ONE

                                                  I

    THE wind was a torrent of darkness among the gusty trees,

    The moon was a ghostly galleon tossed upon cloudy seas,

        The road was a ribbon of moonlight over the purple moor,

        And the highwayman came riding—

                          Riding—riding—

        The highwayman came riding, up to the old inn-door.

                                                  II

       He’d a French cocked-hat on his forehead, a bunch of lace at his chin,

        A coat of the claret velvet, and breeches of brown doe-skin;

        They fitted with never a wrinkle: his boots were up to the thigh!

        And he rode with a jewelled twinkle,

                          His pistol butts a-twinkle,

        His rapier hilt a-twinkle, under the jewelled sky.

                                                  III

       Over the cobbles he clattered and clashed in the dark inn-yard,

        And he tapped with his whip on the shuters, but all was locked and barred;

        He whistled a tune to the window, and who should be waiting there

        But the landlord’s black-eyed daughter,

                          Bess, the landlord’s daughter,

        Plaiting a dark red love-knot into her long black hair.

                                                  IV

       And dark in the dark old inn-yard a stable-wicket creaked

        Where Tim the ostler listened; his face was white and peaked;

        His eyes were hollows of madness, his hair like mouldy hay,

        But he loved the landlord’s daughter,

                          The landlord’s red-lipped daughter,

        Dumb as a dog he listened, and he heard the robber say—

                                                  V

     "One kiss, my bonny sweetheart, I’m after a prize to-night,

        But I shall be back with the yellow gold before the morning light;

        Yet, if they press me sharply, and harry me through the day,

        Then look for me by moonlight,

                          Watch for me by moonlight,

        I’ll come to thee by moonlight, though hell should bar the way."

                                                  VI

           He rose upright in the stirrups; he scarce could reach her hand,

        But she loosened her hair i’ the casement! His face burnt like a brand

        As the black cascade of perfume came tumbling over his breast;

        And he kissed its waves in the moonlight,

                          (Oh, sweet, black waves in the moonlight!)

        Then he tugged at his rein in the moonliglt, and galloped away to the West.

 

                                        PART TWO

                                                  I

           He did not come in the dawning; he did not come at noon;

        And out o’ the tawny sunset, before the rise o’ the moon,

        When the road was a gypsy’s ribbon, looping the purple moor,

        A red-coat troop came marching—

                          Marching—marching—

        King George’s men came matching, up to the old inn-door.

                                                  II

           They said no word to the landlord, they drank his ale instead,

        But they gagged his daughter and bound her to the foot of her narrow bed;

        Two of them knelt at her casement, with muskets at their side!

        There was death at every window;

                          And hell at one dark window;

        For Bess could see, through her casement, the road that he would ride.

                                                  III

           They had tied her up to attention, with many a sniggering jest;

        They had bound a musket beside her, with the barrel beneath her breast!

        "Now, keep good watch!" and they kissed her.

                          She heard the dead man say—

        Look for me by moonlight;

                          Watch for me by moonlight;

       I’ll come to thee by moonlight, though hell should bar the way!

                                                  IV

           She twisted her hands behind her; but all the knots held good!

        She writhed her hands till her fingers were wet with sweat or blood!

        They stretched and strained in the darkness, and the hours crawled by like years,

        Till, now, on the stroke of midnight,

                          Cold, on the stroke of midnight,

        The tip of one finger touched it! The trigger at least was hers!

                                                  V

           The tip of one finger touched it; she strove no more for the rest!

        Up, she stood up to attention, with the barrel beneath her breast,

        She would not risk their hearing; she would not strive again;

        For the road lay bare in the moonlight;

                          Blank and bare in the moonlight;

        And the blood of her veins in the moonlight throbbed to her love’s refrain .

                                                  VI

         Tlot-tlot; tlot-tlot! Had they heard it? The horse-hoofs ringing clear;

        Tlot-tlot, tlot-tlot, in the distance? Were they deaf that they did not hear?

        Down the ribbon of moonlight, over the brow of the hill,

        The highwayman came riding,

                          Riding, riding!

        The red-coats looked to their priming! She stood up, straight and still!

                                                  VII

          Tlot-tlot, in the frosty silence! Tlot-tlot, in the echoing night!

        Nearer he came and nearer! Her face was like a light!

        Her eyes grew wide for a moment; she drew one last deep breath,

        Then her finger moved in the moonlight,

                          Her musket shattered the moonlight,

        Shattered her breast in the moonlight and warned him—with her death.

                                                  VIII

           He turned; he spurred to the West; he did not know who stood

        Bowed, with her head o’er the musket, drenched with her own red blood!

        Not till the dawn he heard it, his face grew grey to hear

        How Bess, the landlord’s daughter,

                          The landlord’s black-eyed daughter,

        Had watched for her love in the moonlight, and died in the darkness there.

                                                  IX

           Back, he spurred like a madman, shrieking a curse to the sky,

        With the white road smoking behind him and his rapier brandished high!

        Blood-red were his spurs i’ the golden noon; wine-red was his velvet coat,

        When they shot him down on the highway,

                          Down like a dog on the highway,

        And he lay in his blood on the highway, with the bunch of lace at his throat.

                  *           *           *           *            *           *

                                                  X

           And still of a winter’s night, they say, when the wind is in the trees,

        When the moon is a ghostly galleon tossed upon cloudy seas,

        When the road is a ribbon of moonlight over the purple moor,

        A highwayman comes riding—

                          Riding—riding—

        A highwayman comes riding, up to the old inn-door.

                                                  XI

           Over the cobbles he clatters and clangs in the dark inn-yard;

        He taps with his whip on the shutters, but all is locked and barred;

        He whistles a tune to the window, and who should be waiting there

        But the landlord’s black-eyed daughter,

                          Bess, the landlord’s daughter,

        Plaiting a dark red love-knot into her long black hair.
      

Senseless

Monday, September 10th, 2007

As long as people refuse to admit they’re wrong.

As long as people are willing to kill others.

As long as people refuse to see others as brothers and sisters.

We will never stop hurting.